I Lost My Job and Found My Worth.

It has been 10 years since I lost my job.

I gave 4 years of my life to that company, and had been promoted a short 18 months prior to them letting me go.

I am a hardworking, driven, and resilient person but that blow was hard to take. It is a situation you never want to experience and one many never will.

Little in life prepares you to receive the news of losing your job. That day was difficult, but the following six months were much worse. I rode the unemployment roller coaster of interviews, getting my hopes up and praying this was the one, to receive yet another rejection and starting all over again. There were many days I wanted to give up. I felt like such a failure.

Losing my job taught me that I had tied my worth to my title.

I enjoyed interacting with and helping people on a daily basis and I had never been without that opportunity. I thought my title is what enabled me to be the person I was.

I was angry.

I was bitter.

I blamed myself and then I blamed my ex-boss.

I was embarrassed.

For the first time in my life, I had lost a job. Coming from a self employed family who taught me as long as you work hard you will be ok made it more difficult. It wasn’t the case for me; I wasn’t ok.

There were days I woke up determined this was the day I would receive a call for a new job. I got excited and was positive. Then, there were days I barely got out of bed by 10 am to revisit my resume, scan the job boards, reach out to my network, or do anything remotely productive.

I needed to be humbled.

I didn’t know it then, but I needed to be humbled.

I needed to realize my worth wasn’t tied to anything other than that I was human, and that alone made me worthy of any and everything good.

Learning you are worthy isn’t an easy task. Your whole life you have been taught you have to DO or ACT to be worthy.

• Do the dishes; then I will show you kindness.
• Fold the laundry; then I will be happy with you.
• Clean your room; then Mom & Dad won’t yell so much.

When was the last time you made someone feel worthy just for existing?

When was the last time you told your child:

I love you as you are; awake or asleep, yelling or laughing, honor roll or not.

Your accomplishments do not determine your worth.

Inevitably, I learned a lot about myself when I was unemployed. I also made an extra effort to identify where I could grow and how this could make me better and I am grateful for that time. I never would have learned what I did about life and myself had I not been placed in that situation.

After months of unemployment, it seemed inevitable I would need to take a step backwards to secure a position. I didn’t want to. I was proud. I had worked hard for the prior 8 years to get to where I was, the compensation level I was at, and I only wanted to accept a position that was “in line” with my qualifications.

Fast forward 6 years and life looks so much different these days. I hold a title unlike one that I have held before. I have two little ones who call me Mom. I am grateful.

Every day I wake up, I am grateful and I am happy. I am not happy every minute of every day, but every single day I am happy.

I am grateful because I know that my worth is not tied to the title I carry. I have hundreds of co-workers and more than 80% of them would tell you they have no clue what my title is; which often happens at large employers.

What they would be able to tell you is that I smile and say hello every time I see them in the hall. They would tell you that I always celebrate other people’s successes, and lift them up any chance I get.

We are called to be leaders, regardless of our title or position in life. We are called to lead people to see their worth.

I now find myself grateful to my ex-boss for the gift of time to find my worth. I never do things conventionally and I guess this experience followed suit.

XO,